11 Years Later..... Pondering

Wow does time really fly by. Heck, I can't believe this is still up or that I could even login. My last post 11 years ago. So much has and had happened that I never did get to do the post I wanted to about the school. My kids are now 13 and 15. I wonder If maybe I should continue blogging on here or make a new one entirely. I have so many ideas always running through my head along with so many life things that maybe a blog about Everything Life instead of just a Mommy blog or review blog. If anyone sees this or reads it, let me know your thoughts as I ponder what I would like to do going forwards. Hope all is well from one mom to another. 

Update:

I am sorry for not posting in a while. I have had so much come up. From family health issues to things in general. When I say family, I also me extended family. Just yesterday I got married to my kids Father after 5 years together. My son in full day pre-school. My daughter being well my wild, crazy princess.

Anyway I wanted to let you all know I have a post hopefully coming out by Wednesday. Be on the look out for it. It's about school related things. And a few others to follow in the coming week as long as everything goes to plan.

I hope everyone is doing good. Hope everyone's Halloween was wonderful. Mine was well, Kira didn't do so well. She was a nightmare trying to go trick-or-treating. She kept trying to steal the candy givers bowls and crying because she wanted her candy. She is still to young to understand the whole concept. But we tried and her brother tried to help her out too. She was a Bat Fairy and He was a Pint Sized Pirate.

Good night for now.

Schooling, Classwork & Homework:

Let me just say I'm really not sure where or how I should start this post. I just know it was one topic I wanted to write about.

So my son is in pre-k. He loves school. They do not send home homework but I didn't learn that until Thursday 10/10/13. When he got home and I checked his backpack, Hayden got what I thought was homework. It was a sheet that was his name in the form of dots where he traces the letters to help learn how to write letters. So I sat down that night and helped him. I also wrote a note on the paper asking about which hand he uses at school since he was asking me which one to use. When he got home Thursday and I noticed the sheet was still in his bookbag and another one home with it, with still no call or note back from the school I called. I was told by his teacher that they don't send home homework, that it was classwork Hayden refused to do and that it was sent home so that if we wanted to do it with him, that it was an option and we didn't need to send it back. So now I make Hayden do his refused classwork before playing, it will show him that it doesn't go without consequences and still needs to be done. It's something to learn with and from, so its a good thing.

Now for the part I'll get people giving me grief and stink eyes for, where others may agree. But this is all just my own opinion. I will probably be called a hyprocrate because, I tell my child one thing but in my mind I'm thinking another. I think and feel that school stuff should stay at school, work stays at work and home stays at home. I think that if you work at home you should have a set time for just that: work, then the other for family. I know not everyone has a family and kids but I am writing this for people with a family. And again this is just my opinion and everyone has one. I feel this way because school and work take enough time from our lives, kids, family and friends. But yet I also feel that kids should not get away with refusing to do their schoolwork. 

We need to learn. Learning is good! That's how we live. We live by learning and loving. And our kids will make all the difference in the world one day. 

I think that from a time a mother delivers's her baby until the age of 5 when they start school the parents should spend as much time with their child. Yes, it is easier said then done. I think that as long as your able to have one parent, mother or father stay home you should. Be your child's teacher and provider. Your child will only gain from it and it will be benificial to your child. 

*Note: if I edit this post to add more the title will stay the same but will have "Edited" at the end.

Hayden's 4th Birthday:

So Hayden will be 4 July 12th, thats tomorrow. I cannot believe how quickly the years go by. It feels as if I just found out yesterday that I was pregnant with Hayden and yet it's already 4 years later. 

When kids grow up they do it in the blink of an eye, so never take one day for granted with your children. Jump in mud/water puddles with them, dance in the rain with them, take walks with them. Make sure to have fun with your kids because at any moment they could be gone. 

I am not sure what I am going to get Hayden for his birthday yet. But I think I am going to try to make carrot cake for his birthday since he absolutely loves carrot cake. But he also loves my chocolate cream cheese cupcakes. He wasn't crazy about my chocolate sour cream cake so that one is probably out of the question. I know one thing though, I love Hayden and I want him to be Happy. 

(Anyway I wanted to let everyone know about a parent/child foundation. It's called The Muddy Puddle Project. www.muddypuddlesproject.org *it's a celebration of children and childhood. Please check it out.) I will be hopefully doing a real post on The Muddy Puddles Project, but until then I at least got it out there. 

Where are Providers Heads At?:

Something that has been on my mind for a while now is where are the Providers heads at, I am not just talking about like family providers such as Building Healthy Families, Early Intervention or even Head Start/Early Head Start (if any of you even know what those are, some I know do not, but that is not what this post is about) this post is about the Pediatrician providers. I mean really where are there heads? I know it must not be on family but just on what the FDA, Government and Academy of Pediatrics says is right and wrong and healthy and not. Every Baby, Toddler, Child, Teenager, Adult, Humans altogether are different, no two babies or humans are 100% alike. The Academy of Pediatrics has this thing that the average baby or toddler for their age is this weight or this height, but really what they need to go by is not other children but family history and that child. So for instance I have two kids, one boy almost 4 and one girl almost 2. One was born with spinal bifida and the other born breach. One born in July the other in November. To totally separate kids, both from the same mother and same father. Now we look into the background of the parents a little, me (the mother) is thin with a high metabolism, hard to gain weight (is a few pounds underweight but not to where doctors are worried), has a thyroid condition and has a autoimmune hair disease called alopecia and has allergies and is 5'2". Pat (the father) is a little overweight (it seems to run in the family (which is not a bad thing but can have adverse affects on health), not a high metabolism, has a cousin born with a more serious spinal bifida disability, asthma runs in his family (though he does not have asthma), has allergies and is highly allergic to penicillin and bees and is 5'10". So now our kids get 50% of each of our biological dna (if I am correct on the term) that means the kids might or might not have allergies, might or might not be overweight or underweight. So now when my sons doctor said he was not on the chart with the average kids his age for weight and height they got worried I am on the short side where their father is not, I am on the thin side where their father is not, so now how can they say he's not where he should be? Everyone is different. It's the same for our daughter who falls off the chart gets on the chart falls off and now they are worried thats she's not fatter (their words not mine) Really, we can't go by other kids who are not in the family, who have no family history to my kids. For me it's hard to believe in the doctors these days, they have done so many things that are wrong and unprofessional. Especially with my kids. Like not getting them in for a diaper rash until I demanded that they see my child and that there was no way that this is just a little diaper rash and of course turned out to be more then just a typical diaper rash. I could write other things to that as well but that's not my point, I think the doctors need to stop listening to the American Academy of Pediatrics and get some common sense, and the AAP as there short term name is needs to get their heads out of the sand and gain some common sense too, Let's go by the true standards and not by what you think is the right standard by 100% different humans. Go by the 50% which is family, Because I can't stress enough how everyone is different but some have the 50/50 dna and everything else from family history.

Well This is Interesting:

I never thought I could have any Autistic Results. I wounder if this is real or made up. I know people and kids who are Autistic and I find that they are intelligent and their own personality, I have seen Autistic people in many different (I guess its Stages, I'm not sure. In my heart Autistic people have an authentic feel to them, but I am thinking that most parents would feel I'm crazy, and you know what I might be but here are two things, I do not have an Autistic child (but I do have a child with a disability) and two at least I'm telling the truth. So I have to say if you don't agree that's fine but we all have our opinions. And I do understand it's not easy to parent an Autistic child (I have seen how  hard it can be) but with any child born with a disability no matter big or small can be hard to parent at times. But we love our kids and try our hardest to be there and do whats right, we do it with our hearts and our love for our kids, and if I am wrong for saying that then tell me, but be prepared to hear from me saying you must not care, Because only a true parent understands the love and hope we have for our children, we care, we want to do everything we can for them, we give up things for them, we LOVE them with all our hearts, they are our world, our soaring eagle high in the sky! 

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Your result for The Broad Autism Phenotype Test ...

Autistic/BAP

You scored 114 aloof, 126 rigid and 79 pragmatic

You scored above the cutoff on all three scales. Clearly, you are either autistic or on the broader autistic phenotype. You probably are not very social, and when you do interact with others, you come off as strange or rude without meaning to. You probably also like things to be familiar and predictable and don't like changes, especially unexpected ones.

Your Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

• 
  You scored 114% on aloof, higher than 68% of your peers.
• 
  You scored 126% on rigid, higher than 95% of your peers.
• 
  You scored 79% onpragmatic, higher than 32% of your peers.
• 
  You scored 3% on diagnosis, higher than 26% of your peers.

Kids Build Workshops:

I have to say every 1st saturday of the month we bring our 3 (soon to be 4) year old and our 15 month old to the home depot kids workshop but of our kids love building the item with their daddy and they each do one together. Daddy normally builds with our son while I build with our daughter. Then the 2nd and 4th saturdays of the month lowes has a workshop to in which we go and build them too. The kids love the time building with mommy and daddy and we do it as a family. Its every month and home depot does it every 1st saturday where lowes does it every 2nd and 4th saturday. The kids get an apron to either put the pins they get from that build or the patch to put on. It seems as if home depot does pins and lowes does patches but i tell you this the builds are awesome sometimes. Sometimes it more leans towards a boy type toy other times a girl one. But my kids don't care either way, they love it. Have any questions feel free to ask.

a moment is the answer to all of lifes mysteries!

a moment is the answer to all of lifes mysteries!

Everyone Parents Differently:

It’s amazing how we can all parent in a different way. How I parent, may not be the way you or anyone else parents their children, and you may or maynot agree with my parenting skills. How I like to parent my children may be wrong in someone else’s eyes, and how the mother may like to parent or parents their children maybe different from how the father does, which can lead to not agreeing, but you both have to find a happy medium (which can be hard). It’s not easy but we all need to talk to one another and talk about our parenting techniques and we all may gain insight and helpful tips on what to do with certian ages (like the terrible twos, as most would say), potty training and other things. Lets all start a worldwide stir of parenting tips, tricks, hints and techniques.

Ask-Mama (Krysta)

My Mommy Characteristics:

 Based on your responses, here’s what we've discovered about your Mom-Style.

Only 22% of moms have a style that is similar to yours.

We see the following characteristics in you:

You tend to be at your best when you’re organized. You are apt to plan ahead and do everything you can to make sure you accomplish things in an efficient and effective manner.

As a mom, you are likely to be on the lookout for the latest advances in pediatric care and infant products. You tend to research everything from car seats to formula, so that you can provide your baby with the very best start in life and every advantage towards a successful future.

Still Breastfeeding:

Yes I still breastfeed my daughter at 14 months and no one will stop me or her. I am going to let her decide when to wean/stop breastfeeding but my ultimate goal is at least 2 years. If anyone has a problem with that that’s your issue not mine. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing a mother can do for her babies/child. And just to say for those who think us breastfeeding mothers do it for sexual gratification you need help. We do it because it’s the best and healthiest option for our baby not because we get some sick sexual twist from our baby feeding from our breast. You’re the sick one for thinking that. Just like it’s not a bad thing if a mother can’t breastfeed or is too uncomfortable with breastfeeding. It does not make them a bad person either. I know there are some mothers who think that other mothers who don’t breastfeed are poor excuses for mothers and who are wrongful to their babies and it’s not true and you’re the person who has their mind too far stuck up their butt on their high pedestal.

So Quiet, Peaceful & Yet I’m Bored (Why?):

They say you can never be bored when you have kids, but I call their bluff. I am always bored after my kids go to bed. Even though I always have stuff to do I get bored. I love my kids and I know they need sleep but without hearing running feet like a zoo house and the screaming it’s just too quiet and yet when their up I just want some quiet time some peaceful time so why is it when they sleep I can’t stand the absolute silent sound?

Upset With Pediatrician:

Why is it every time we take our daughter for check-ups that the doctor starts talking about me weaning my daughter from breastfeeding? I personally want to breastfeed until the age of 2 and she is only 14 months or until she decides to ween herself. I wanted the same and did the same with my son but he weaned at the age of 13 months and was done by 14 months. I keep telling her what my goal and plan is but she keeps bringing up weaning my daughter from the breast.

Does Having Kids Ruin Sex Lives?:

I say no although others would disagree with me. For the first 3-6 months or until you child sleeps through the night sex may either be the farthest thing from your mind or you may not be able to get time enough to make love with your partner.

You have to make the time to be intimate with your partner does this mean you have to make love, no, take time to hug, kiss, cuddle and loving. Love is not all about sex, it’s also about loving, caring, nurturing intimacy.

Time some time before just jumping right into sex. Next plan for just 1 night a week that works for you both and that’s your day or night to make love to your partner. Keep doing that and working in more love making sessions. Take your time and have fun it does not need to be stressful.

Both my partner and I made a promise to be intimate every night before bed and we only made love maybe once or twice a week and sometimes less. As our kids got a little older we made the promise to try and make love at least 3 days a week and we worked up to were we promised to try to make love once a day or night, whenever we can fit it in. Even if you take showers together you can have shower sex and sometimes shower sex can be the best sex.

Always remember to be intimate. Intimacy is always wonderful. Making love and intimacy helps put us in a good mood, can either relax us or make us feel energized and is also good for our health. Making love releases feel good endorphins that make us feel good and happy, so does being intimate but it doesn’t release the same amount. So remember take your time, start out slow, be intimate and have some fun.

Sick ?

Well I've been so busy with the kids being sick and now myself that there hasn't been an update or post. So here is a quick update, Kira is doing better or shes just not letting it bother her much, Hayden had a fever and runny nose and he got better I thought but I guess he didn't since he's sick and not feeling good. Myself I thought that the kids got me sick and maybe they did, but right now my seasonal allergies are kicking my butt. Pat seems fine.
Not much really to say.
Kira's getting big, I can't believe it's been almost a year now. She's a talker, she only says a few words but she uses then non-stop. Mama, Dada and we think Baba means she wants the breast since she hasn't has or used a bottle. She is a big breastfeed-er, she loves the boob, but she vicious to them. She pokes, pinches, pushes and grabs at the breast.
Hayden has been going to Headstart when he isn't sick, and he loves school. I can't believe it's been 3 years. Time goes by too fast and I wish I took everyones advice on the time going by in the blink of an eye. It's scary, I miss those up all nights, cuddly munchkins, the hold me mama, I want you mama type of behavior you get from a baby. My kids are growing up so fast right in front of me and trying to take the time to enjoy it before time does fly by is hard. I miss the sweet sound of the babbles and coos when talking back to the kids, Kira does it but not like she use to.
Well I guess that's all for now, shoot me a idea to write about. Hope everyone is doing good and is in good health, (and not sick like us over here.) Have a great day.

Cloth Diapers or Disposable Diapers - Which to Pick?:

Things to think about when chosing cloth diapers or disposable diapers.

Let's start with cloth diapers.


Cloth Diapers:
Pros-                                        Cons-
1. less money                            1. can be a hassle
2. no harsh chemicals               2. can be hard to clean from stains
3. reusable                                3. can be bulkier then disposable
4. less waste for landfills          4. depending on cloth child might be allergic
5. easy to re-size                     
6. environment friendly            
                                             
                                             
Disposable Diapers:                  
Pros-                                        Cons-
1. less hassle                             1. expensive
2. neat and unbulky                  2. harsh chemicals against babies skin
3. easy to carry around             3. can fall apart
4. toss away the stinkiness       4. more rashes
                                                 5. more waste for landfills
                                                 6. have to buy another size
                                                 7. not environment friendly


For me personally I still can't really decide. I like cloth since there is no harsh chemicals that can be bad for babies skin, but I like the less hassle of disposable. So for me im on a thin line of half and half for each. I do cloth diaper but I also use disposables. I personally like making my own cloth diapers compared to buying them since it seems that I can make them for less money with still good quality.

So there's my run-down on Cloth and Disposable Diapers. Now it's your turn to tell me where you fall into the diaper line-up.

Back and Ready to Continue:

I am sorry to any of my Parenting Blog followers. I stopped blogging for a while, I had a few things come up with family. So I had a lot going on. But I hope to be back without many interruptions and I am ready to continue on blogging about Parenting.

So a quick update, I hope to have 2-3 drafted posts published by Saturday. Kira is doing good, she had a fever a few days ago and everyone is saying its because she is teething, but I'm over here saying she is almost  10 months and not a peeping tooth anywhere in that mouth of hers. Well they'll come in eventually.
Hayden will be starting Headstart School in a week or so. It will be Mon-Thurs. So he gets a 3 day break to be home doing things with his mommy (ME!) and his sister (Kira) and when daddy isn't working, daddy (Pat).

Anyway this is the end of this post be on the lookout for new posts, coming soon. Sorry again for dropping off the blogging earth. But remember if you have any questions, comments, pre-pregnancy, pregnancy,  toddlerhood ask away. Have something you would like me to blog about a topic related to pregnancy, parenting, toddlers anything comment below. If you would like other ways to contact me let me know we can set something up, email, text, facebook whatever it may be.

Well this is the end of this and remember Live, Laugh, Love, Play (everyday) with your babies and toddlers. I will try post some arts-n-crafts ideas and maybe some science ideas for play that are educational yet fun.

Discipline : to Spank or Not to Spank

OK where do I start. I'm just not sure with this topic.
I have mixed feelings on spanking. I feel that sometimes a child may need a little swat on the butt. Not to where you leave marks or the kid goes flying across the room. I remember as a kid we used to get our butts spanked for not listening and it sure got the point across. But nowadays we can't do that as cps gets called. Times outs don't always work, taking things away (like: a favorite toy or not being able to watch TV or a certain period of time) & explaining doesn't always work either, so then what else is there? I feel that taking everything away would be bad as that would mean learning types of things (like: books and educational games.)
When time outs and yelling and all that doesn't work you can put a parent at their wits end. I personally don't like putting a hand on a child in a bad way. My son is 3 and he tests the waters all the time. I just stick my ground. I don't let him get away with anything bad. I give him a warning the first time, the second time I removed him from the environment and turn his focus on something good, the third time is a time-out and the last time he gets a time-out and a either his toy cars or toy trains taken away for a little while. It doesn't always work. But I will not do to him the things that were done to me, like: eating soap for saying a bad word (wouldn't work on him anyway, as he already tries to eat soap because he says it is yummy), or a belt to the butt.
He once said the word bitch (yes I am typing out the word). In a stern voice I said we don't use that word, it's bad. He has not said it again. I am not even sure as to where he heard that word. But when it comes to bad words normally a stern voice works for him, then I explain in a toddler way of understanding the reason.

I used positive re-enforcement instead of saying no I say something like why don't we eat lunch first then play outside, or lets eat outside then play. Also time-out don't consist of him sitting by himself, but not in the same environment that caused the problem. I sit with him, then I talk to him and tell him what was not a good behavior and that I still love him always. I also ask him how he is feeling that he needs to talk about his feelings instead of acting on them and talk to him where I say I understand you are feeling mad, but you can't hit or kick or something to do with what he did at the time.

Anyway there is so much more I could say on this topic that would turn this into a 10 page book. So If I feel there is something I need or want to add I will but I will put (re-vised or re-edited in the topic title.)

Child Abuse:

Ok so this is a very upsetting topic to talk about, but it was a requested topic. So here it goes.

I've been a survivor of child abuse in more than one way. I made it through that time in my life and because of that and other things I have been through I am a much stronger person. I would never want my kids to go through what I went through and I wouldn't want any baby or child to endure the things I have gone through and have seen. It hurts me to see other children being abused and makes me think that the abuser should endure what they put that child through but 100x worse. I won't let anyone I don't have full trust in to watch either of my kids. I will not go online or around where I live to find a babysitter, these are my kids and if I want to know what’s going on with them and to know they are not being hurt or abused then it's my job to watch them. If I ever found out that the people I fully trust (meaning close family, mom/dad, oma/opa) hurt my kids purposely then I would go after them. My kids are there grandchildren or nephew/niece. I would make sure they never saw my kids again. 

I see many children being abused every day and nothing seems to be done about it. You can see it online. I never hear of what happened to the abuser and when you do hear about where or what the abuser is doing, they get/got there kids back and then the same thing happens all over again. It's really sad, and if I was the richest person alive I would make a big home with many families as one for all the abused children who had no place to go. Why have more kids in foster care when even then they are abused sometimes. All the parents that would live in the house would have had background checks and there would be cameras in place to see what was going on and how things were being handled. 

I have seen a baby want his own mother but she kept pushing him away, hitting the baby with pillows, shoes and other things and all this baby wanted was love, to be held and comforted by his own mother. I always wonder how mothers can't love their babies and would want to abuse them. Ok yeah some are too young and don't know how to handle being a parent, some have mental disease or defect, but to me that is still not a reason. Some mothers do really good then one day just snap. It's a scary thing t think about. I've seen mothers who were so upset by child abuse but then one day they themselves abused their children. It’s a sad thing but it does happen. 

I’m not sure what else to say so here are some statistics. 

Children are suffering from a hidden epidemic of child abuse and neglect. Every year 3.3 million reports of child abuse are made in the United States involving 6 million children; that’s because reports can include multiple children. The United States has the worst record in the industrialized nation – losing five children every day due to abuse-related deaths. (this is from National Child Abuse Statistics website.)

So lets start off with some other statistics.

1. Abused children are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy.
2. Abused teens are less likely to practice safe sex, putting them at greater risk for STDs. 
3. One-third to two-thirds of child maltreatment cases involve substance use to some degree. 
4. Children whose parents abuse alcohol and other drugs are three times more likely to be abused and more than four times more likely to be neglected than children from non-abusing families. 
5. As many as two-thirds of the people in treatment for drug abuse reported being abused or neglected as children. 
6. 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children. 
7. 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. 
8. Children who experience child abuse & neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violent crime. 
9. A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds.
10. *More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.
11. Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4. 
12. It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates. 
13. More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way. 
14. Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
15. About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. 
16. About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder. 
17. The estimated annual cost of child abuse and neglect in the United States for 2008 is $124 billion.

Baby Food - Make Your Own?:

So today I made like 20 ounces of bananas into baby food. I have been wanting to make my daughters baby food. I want to do pees, carrots and cucumber next. But the pees and cucumber will have to be done for 5 days each before I can start going back to other foods she likes and has no problems with. She likes Bananas and Squash. Shes ok with Sweet Potatoes. Shes not crazy about Applesauce or Carrots but she will eat them, but maybe when I make them she will like mommy's baby food.


Bananas: With the bananas all I did was peal them, took the little end nipples off, cut them up into small chunks, then put them in my mini food chopper, but a blender will work better for stage one. My little girl is on stage one foods but my mini food chopper seems to make it into like a between stage 1 and stage 2 food. But Kira did wonderful with the bananas the way they were.


Carrots: With carrots I would wash, peal and cut them up into little 1/2 inch slices then boil them for about 10 minuets or until tender. After they are tender empty most of the water then (it would be up to you, but put either a dash of pure cane sugar or a pinch of salt) mix, put in a food chopper or a blender and blend until the right stage consistency. The dish up into storage containers.






NOTE* I will add more later and as I find what I feel is better or is easier. I will tell you this, if you don't have a blender, or you do things by hand with one of the store bought hand mills it will be very time consuming. I will do a review later on the Baby food hand mill that I have.