OK where do I start. I'm just not sure with this topic.
I have mixed feelings on spanking. I feel that sometimes a child may need a little swat on the butt. Not to where you leave marks or the kid goes flying across the room. I remember as a kid we used to get our butts spanked for not listening and it sure got the point across. But nowadays we can't do that as cps gets called. Times outs don't always work, taking things away (like: a favorite toy or not being able to watch TV or a certain period of time) & explaining doesn't always work either, so then what else is there? I feel that taking everything away would be bad as that would mean learning types of things (like: books and educational games.)
When time outs and yelling and all that doesn't work you can put a parent at their wits end. I personally don't like putting a hand on a child in a bad way. My son is 3 and he tests the waters all the time. I just stick my ground. I don't let him get away with anything bad. I give him a warning the first time, the second time I removed him from the environment and turn his focus on something good, the third time is a time-out and the last time he gets a time-out and a either his toy cars or toy trains taken away for a little while. It doesn't always work. But I will not do to him the things that were done to me, like: eating soap for saying a bad word (wouldn't work on him anyway, as he already tries to eat soap because he says it is yummy), or a belt to the butt.
He once said the word bitch (yes I am typing out the word). In a stern voice I said we don't use that word, it's bad. He has not said it again. I am not even sure as to where he heard that word. But when it comes to bad words normally a stern voice works for him, then I explain in a toddler way of understanding the reason.
I used positive re-enforcement instead of saying no I say something like why don't we eat lunch first then play outside, or lets eat outside then play. Also time-out don't consist of him sitting by himself, but not in the same environment that caused the problem. I sit with him, then I talk to him and tell him what was not a good behavior and that I still love him always. I also ask him how he is feeling that he needs to talk about his feelings instead of acting on them and talk to him where I say I understand you are feeling mad, but you can't hit or kick or something to do with what he did at the time.
Anyway there is so much more I could say on this topic that would turn this into a 10 page book. So If I feel there is something I need or want to add I will but I will put (re-vised or re-edited in the topic title.)
